See No Evil
by Mimi-dudette
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru never joined the Host Club. They were never saved. Can Tamaki and Haruhi save them now that they've self-destructed in a way neither believed possible? - Twin centric - HikaHaru - x
1. Chapter the First

**-See No Evil-**

_**A multi-chaptered twin centric story**_

**Pairing:** Later HikaHaru, possibly KaoMei hints

**Rated** for mildly bad language

**A/N:** And a new story starts. :) All of my exams are now over (yey!) so as well as working on updates for _I don't believe in love at first sight_, I've started a new OHSHC story, because I'm nerdy like that. It's much more serious than my others, but I really like it so far so I hope you enjoy it too :D

**Info:** Based in an AU where the twins are in their first year but never joined the Host Club. The HC is otherwise running as normal. A character called Kimiko is in this chapter; in canon she's the twins' and Haruhi's fan and classmate with short hair and though her name and bio was in the manga, there wasn't much to go on, so you could say she's essentially an OC. She isn't in it much.

**Also** many thanks to Grimdreamer for being a _wonderful_ beta-reader. She deserves many Snickers bars!

**Enjoy :3**

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><p><strong>-Prologue-<strong>

_He was terrified._

_His heart was pounding in his skull like the clatter of steel drums. As he lifted a trembling hand, he became acutely aware of how helpless he really was. There was nothing above him and nothing below, nothing but the crumbling surface on which he was clinging._

"_Move."_

_He couldn't, he couldn't. Despite the fact his muscles were beginning to strain, threatening to uncoil and let him fall to his death, he just couldn't force himself to shift his hand._

_He'd never been more scared in his life._

"_On your right, Hikaru."_

_Because the only thing keeping him alive was the words of someone he'd never even seen._

* * *

><p><strong>-1-<strong>

Her boyfriend took so long to appear that Kimiko Sakurazuka eventually resorted to counting desks, which wasn't the most interesting pastime. She concluded that there were twenty-eight, seven down and four across, all perfectly spaced in a classroom so luxurious that it put the top public schools to shame.

Not that Kimiko had any idea what a public school looked like; she had never attended anywhere outside Ouran Academy's prestigious halls.

"There's only ten minutes of lunch left," she noted to herself, staring vacantly at a silver wall clock and trying not to let the disappointment leak into her tone.

He was probably with his brother. Scratch that, he was _definitely_ with his brother, talking about who-knows-what and letting the time run away from them like water through their fingers, though he _did_ promise he'd meet her at the start of lunch so they could eat together…

_No_, she quickly thought to herself, shaking her head. _Stop that. _She shouldn't complain; after all, when he first accepted her love letter, she had promised not to come between the two brothers. Giddy and infatuated, she'd sworn to herself to be the most understanding and caring girlfriend ever. She'd be everything he wanted, so he'd never be lonely. And what had he said? That he would always treasure her. It was just like a shojo manga.

Apart from… it wasn't. They went on dates but he was always late. They had every lesson together but it was his brother he snuck notes to. They walked through the halls together but he never held her hand. It made none of it seem-

_Stop it, _she reprimanded herself once again, refusing to let those doubts creep in. _He smiles at me, doesn't he? He smiles and sends me gifts and kisses me. He's just getting used to it. _She smiled fondly and shook her head again, short hair bobbing around her ears.

"What are you shaking your head at?" a soft, teasing voice suddenly said from the doorway, and she instantly looked up, a beam gracing her lips before she even caught sight of him.

Kaoru Hitachiin.

He was leaning against the doorframe, with a cat-like expression of detached amusement on his face that made her giggle. He had a lean build and, as he wandered over to her, he lifted a hand to rustle his shock of red hair.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, smiling. "I hope you weren't waiting too long."

"Oh… that's okay, Kaoru. Were you talking to Hikaru?"

"Mm." He winked and added grandly, "He got us tickets for the theatre this weekend, for that new opera."

"Oh! That's wonderful!"

"You want to go?"

"Of course!"

"Good."

Without another word, he stood close to her and began to trace a finger up and down her arm, causing her to blush happily. He caught her gaze and smiled softly at her before quickly looking back down to her hand. Finding this absolutely adorable, Kimiko resisted the urge to dissolve into a fan-girlish squeal and went to ask about the tickets, but he interrupted her.

"Hey, Kimi?"

_A nickname! _"Yes, Kaoru?"

"I was wondering…" And suddenly his arms were looped lovingly around her waist and she blushed even deeper. "You can tell me and Hikaru apart, can't you?"

She blinked. "I- w-well yes, I think so… I mean, it's hard sometimes as you do look so similar…" She suddenly smiled shyly and added, "But I feel so close to you. I can always tell which one is my Kaoru."

"I see," he said, his voice suddenly sounding strange. She looked up at him uncertainly but his stoic face didn't return the gesture and after a second he asked, "How can you do that?"

"Well… Your eyes," she explained, before bravely reaching up and brushing a strand of red hair away so she could see their golden-brown depths. They glanced at her and she found her lips twitching into a shy smile. "They're softer than Hikaru's. Kinder. I've always loved your eyes."

"Right."

Was that regret she heard in his voice then? No, something wearier, more travel-worn, like familiar disappointment. Her hand faltered and fell, uncertainty rolling around in her stomach like a small animal. Before she could worriedly question him however, his eyes had flickered to something and then all at once his hand was at her chin and his lips were crushed against hers. Bewildered, she briefly considered pulling away, but as he pressed closer her heart and her resistance melted away; she kissed back, delighting in the feeling of his hot breath, resting her hands on his chest-

"_Oi_!"

Kimiko jumped out of her skin at the voice and pulled away so fast it was a surprise she didn't get whiplash. As Kaoru watched her darkly, she stared over to the door, fearing the worst - a teacher, the chairman, _her_ _father_- but instead was faced with Hikaru, Kaoru's twin, identical in everything but the way his hair fell on his head. She wanted to be relived, but the expression on his face scared her; intense and furious.

"Hikaru-" she started, glancing over to Kaoru for reassurance. His arms had fallen away and he was now staring firmly away from her. "I'm sorry-?"

"What do you think you're doing?" the twin at the door hissed, now letting a degree of hurt show in his face that made her feel immensely guilty, though she didn't know why. "Kimiko? I thought you were meeting _me _here. _Me_?"

"I-What? Hikaru, I don't understand…"

"Don't you?"

The brother next to her had spoken then, though he didn't face her. Bewildered, she whipped her head round to him and instinctively tried to grab onto his arm; he moved it away. "Kaoru-?"

The one by the door spoke up, as if in response. "I can't believe you'd do this, _Kimi_. Do you hate me? Or wasn't one brother enough for you?"

Horror overcame her as the implication of his words clocked in her mind. Both disgust and embarrassment crawled up her spine like a parade of spiders and her head accusingly turned back to the closest twin, as if she was watching a tennis match. But any words clogged and broke in her throat as he found him - _Hikaru?_ - gazing back at her already, an unrecognisable yet horrible expression in his eyes.

"Some girlfriend you have here, Kaoru," he said. Then, "I told her who I was."

"What?" She stared at him in horror as he slowly backed away, blood rushing from her face and making her feel light-headed. "N-no, you… You didn't! I thought-!"

"Are you calling my twin a liar?" the one at the door suddenly accused and though she opened her mouth, she couldn't force any words out. At length, he spoke again.

"Though you know, I shouldn't really be surprised by all this. I mean…"

And then, his face changed. All the hurt and anger, all the emotions that showed she actually mattered to him, dropped away as smoothly as taking off a mask. What was left was a cold, wicked grin. He lent his elbow on his twin's shoulder and together they leered at her as if she was some sort of meaningless prey. Kimiko felt her heart stop beating even before he spoke.

"We've been swapping the name 'Kaoru' every day for weeks."

She stared at them, stunned. "You… You, what…?" Then she shook her head slowly, confused. "No, you… No. I mean- We-"

But her words her cut short by their widening grins, mocking and cruel. Realisation overcame her like an icy wave and as it crashed through her body, piercing every pore, it seemed to sweep half of her away. She couldn't believe it. They couldn't have- On purpose- He was so romantic, every day, she thought with Kaoru she- she might have been in-

"You didn't even notice, did you?" they snorted, disgusted, and the first tears broke free and began to roll down her face. One of them - she didn't know which one, she didn't care, they were just the same, horrible, horrible - leaned in closer to her and wiggled his eyebrows mockingly as he said, "I wonder which one of us you kissed more? I mean, you should know. You always know which twin is '_your Kaoru_', after all."

She cracked then - as she watched the face she had once seen looking at her so kindly twist into a cruel sneer, a sob burst from her throat and a humiliated flush stained her face. His words broke her heart.

"H-how _could_- Why would you do that?"

"Why not?" the other drawled, his eyes loftily amused as if she was just some mildly entertaining peasant. He cocked his head and gave her trembling form a hard, disgusted look for several seconds before finally saying, "You go out with one of us and you don't even bother to learn to tell us apart. _Softer eyes… _God, who do you think you are? You're a liar and you don't deserve to go out with us."

His words had morphed into a cruel spit and Kimiko could feel her hands trembling with humiliation. But the worst thing about it was the sense of self-loathing that their words had lulled her into; suddenly, the horrible betrayal seemed to be just as much her fault as it was theirs. She felt dirty and disgusted, used and a user, and she didn't think her heart could break anymore. With a last gasping sob, she span round and fled towards the door, almost stumbling in her haste.

But then, before she could leave, "One more thing."

The twins' identical grins widened as she stopped, stumbled and glanced back at them, hoping desperately that the last five minutes didn't really happen. But they did, and it was stupid to hope otherwise as the devilish brothers lent towards each other and leered at her, two sets of golden eyes glinting tauntingly beneath hellish flames of red hair.

The one who'd called her spoke then, smirking as though he was having the time of his life. "You're a terrible kisser," he informed her.

A harsh flush stained her face and she ran from the room without another word, shaking so violently she doubted she would ever be able to stop. Their mocking laughter chased her down the hallway like the echoing booms of church bells, rebounding off the walls, biting at her heels. It would be a long time before she would get their lingering cackles to stop haunting her mind.

Hikaru and Kaoru continued to laugh. They laughed when the girl started to run and they laughed harder when they heard her sobs. Hikaru had to clutch onto Kaoru's shoulder he was laughing so hard. As an audience of two, they continued to have complete hysterics even after the girl's footfalls left them, even though neither found it funny, not at all.

They just continued to laugh, because what else could they do?

* * *

><p>"Have you heard? The club will be dressing as the Tokugawa Shogunate today!"<p>

"Uwah, I know! Haruhi will look gorgeous as Soji Okita… I'd like him to protect _me_…"

Hikaru rolled his eyes and tried to speed up his walk to pass the two hyperactive girls in front of him. They were giggling behind their hands and walking fast in their excitement, the yellow folds of their dresses flapping around their ankles.

"Mori so fits the role of a noble warrior… He should be Soma, the dark horse!"

"Ooh, no, he should be the brave Yama… Yamazaki…"

Hikaru smirked as they finally noticed him and the sight of him walking solo seemed to be enough to surprise them into silence. Their stride finally slowed, so he could brush past them and walk down the corridor ahead of them, which he did so with an uncaring swagger. After a moment, he glanced back at the pair but they hadn't returned to their loud discussion about their dear Host Club. Instead, they were whispering quietly behind their hands, glancing about them worriedly, as though they expected the missing twin to jump out at them.

Though he snorted at their reaction, the sight of him without Kaoru was very rare indeed, especially at school. He barely spent five minutes away from him and at the academy they accompanied each other absolutely everywhere, even the bathroom. The longest they spent away from each other was those times when they were pretending to go out with a girl, getting her hopes up, but even then, they switched every ten minutes.

Right now however, Hikaru was slowly walking to their car alone while Kaoru had run back to the classroom to fetch his project. Hikaru could have offered to accompany him, which he usually would have, but today he was in too much of a mood to.

Though he was aware there was no rational reason for it, he was really irritated at his twin.

When class had rejoined for literature after lunch, Kimiko hadn't said anything about what had happened - they never did. Classmates were told 'it didn't work out' and they were too polite to pry further. Whenever someone had asked the twins what had happened to cause the split, Hikaru noticed they never looked at one Hitachiin specifically. No one was quite sure which one she had been going out with in the first place.

For some reason, this had angered him. Whenever the twins messed with a love-letter sender, it usually made him evilly amused, or at least filled him with a sense of twisted justice. But this time, he was just getting more and more wound up. He was angry at Kimiko, angry at their classmates, angry at the fact no one said their names in fear of getting it wrong. Frustrated, he irrationally blamed Kaoru for the fact they shared the same face, for the fact no one could tell them apart, for the fact no one cared who he was. Was he Hikaru or was he just a Hitachiin twin?

He'd finally reached outside and, through the sudden sunlight overwhelmed his eyes, he powered blindly across the courtyard, furious thoughts buzzing inside his skull like wasps.

As Hikaru had gotten angrier and angrier that day, Kaoru had become quieter and moodier, as though he was blaming himself too. If he was honest, Hikaru knew it was ridiculous to think that it was Kaoru's fault and he should be ashamed of himself for even becoming snappish with him. He loved Kaoru more than anything and wouldn't swap their intimate bond, their cosy little world, for anything on earth.

And yet, sometimes… Sometimes he felt the complete opposite. Whenever they tested people, whenever they sneered that no one could tell, there always that hope.

_Please, please, just look at me. I'm different from him, if you can just be arsed to look. Why aren't I worth the bother? _

No one could ever tell though, not really. It was the story of his life, the exact same, again and again and again, and it was driving him mad. And yet they relentlessly continued to test people, setting themselves up for that self-destroying disappointment, like bombs initiating their own countdown.

_3, 2, 1..._

Blinded by his anger, Hikaru continued to walk.

What was the point, really? Of anything? His life was so claustrophobic, just him and Kaoru against those who were blind to them, every week, every day, every second, for so bloody long. He was running a tightly coiled cycle and if nothing snapped, he would.

He could hear hurried footsteps jogging up behind him now, trying to catch up, a rhythmic _pat-pat-pat _against the concrete. They were just loud enough to hear, like a reminder at the back of his mind. Kaoru catching up to him, perhaps. Hikaru honestly didn't know whether he wanted to run away or turn around and embrace him. He settled for a compromise and just sped up his walk, scrunching his eyes closed as if to blind himself from the fire of his contradicting conflict.

Hikaru's last thought before he stepped onto the road was one he would always regret.

_Fuck everything. I… I __**hate **__being a twin._

And then he stepped and there was no time for thinking.

He was so preoccupied with that last harsh thought, that at first he didn't even notice. Then a horn blasted its way through his eardrums and he whipped his head round and, just for a moment, time froze. A flash of metal, rearing towards him like a barely-concealed monster; its screams were the squeal of tires. He couldn't see the drivers face. The sunlight caught onto the windshield and now it glared like a sun and burned his eyes. It was moving too fast to stop; he'd walked too far to turn around.

Then everything began moving, very fast.

There was a bang and a scream and suddenly he was very hot, burning in his skin, organs blistering with the pure heat of it-

And then it was so cold he couldn't breathe-

And then there was nothing.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**Constructive criticism would be very much appreciated! :D**


	2. Chapter the Second

I'm going to start updating** weekly-ish** (the 'ish' being the important part - because I'm me). It's my challenge over the summer to update every week and get my stories a whole heap closer to completion. Whether I'll be updating this or _I don't believe in love at first sight _depends entirely on what I have ready. Wish me luck!

**And again**, many thanks to the wonderful** grimdreamer** for beta-reading in that awesome way of hers. :D

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><p><strong>-2-<strong>

I think I might be dead.

I'm not sure, but I've definitely heard that word screamed then whispered at me as I float in this suffocating tar that is my existence. Funny, I always thought death would be a bit more interesting.

For a while, I just float, listless, in a sea of blackness, like a string-less puppet. Vaguely, I know that my body is in agonising pain. But that's all it is, the knowledge at the back of my sedated mind, a mild nod of acknowledgement. My senses are too dulled to tell me anything. I feel as though thick, heavy smog has clouded inside my skull and the tips of my nerves have broken off like sticks of ice. I am nothing but an overwhelming sense of suffocation and a vague wonder of death.

After a long time, a buzz begins to sound faintly in my mind, like the fuzz of static. My hearing's slowly coming back, though I don't know if 'hearing' is really the right word. All I can make out is the vague changes in pitch and the dreary rumble of far off voices. The clearer they get, the more acute is the aching throb that accompanies them. Still, at least I've upgraded from being dead. I now know that, at the very least, I'm a mind with an ear, and maybe even a nerve or two. Wonderful.

"…_He…don't…isn't…"_

My consciousness, joined only by a painful sense of hearing, drifts slowly upwards, closer and closer to reality. I've never liked reality. And now, listening to the fragmented rumbles and trying to make a conclusion with my smoggy, sedated mind, I dislike it even more.

"_Severe… -val rate… so…"_

"_-dead."_

Dead? Charming. I'm not dead. At least, my ears aren't.

"_Hi- Hikaru!"_

"_Don't-"_

"_Hika, please, Hika!"_

Kaoru?

Oh. Kaoru. Is he okay?

Disturbed memories of the accident start to shift and churn somewhere in the claustrophobic casket of my mind. I imagine a foreboding hiss as my skull cracks and another gas seeps in, spiked with worry and horror. It takes hold of my brain and infects it. _Kaoru._

"_Hikaru!"_

I can hear you, Kaoru. Oh God. Are you alright?

"_Oh, Hikaru…"_

I try to feel around for my lips to speak, but I can't find them. I'm really starting to hate just being an ear.

"_Look at his face…"_

…What? Wait… what?

"_Hikaru…"_

No wait. Go back to that, Kaoru. What about my face?

Kaoru?

But it's no good; I'm fading away again, slowly, slowly, and his words are disappearing into a dim buzz. But with my last inch of awareness, I panic.

Kaoru? What about my face? What happened to me? Wait, wait!

_Do we still look the same?_

Twins have to look the same. I can't-

Kaoru? _Kaoru?_

I can't. Not yet. Please, God…

But then I plunge backwards into the suffocating tar and, once again, I am lost.

I don't wonder about the time as I drift in the mind-numbing blackness, submerged in the black tar that leaks into every crease of my brain. Only occasionally do I float back up to the fringes of consciousness and then it is only to listen to the disordered grumble of sounds and to feel the ice-cold panic as I wonder about my appearance. I imagine a charred, disgusting burn across my face, foul smelling, dabbed with blood, as stark as a tattoo.

It spells out the words,

_I _

_am _

_Hikaru._

It's after an unimaginable amount of time that, quite suddenly, I'm injected smoothly back into reality. Without warning or fanfare, I simply open my eyes. Just like that.

And I'm home.

No, really.

I'm lying on my soft, plush bed and my cotton sheets are pulled up to my chin. I can see the familiar walls of my bed room and, as I jolt upwards, I spot my desk across the room and the door to our walk-in wardrobe, slightly ajar. There's even a handful of video games and papers littering the floor. It's night but the moon shines in from the large window and throws everything into soft, silvery relief.

Uh. What the hell? Wasn't I a floating ear a second ago? Something like that. Was I dreaming?

Bewildered, I look to the bed adjacent to see my little brother sleeping there contently, curled up like he always does. The sheet rises and falls as he breathes, my Kaoru, my other half, and as I watch a strand of his soft red hair falls over his face. The oddness of this sudden normality strikes me so hard that I immediately scramble over to him, desperate to double-check he's okay. But as I lift a hand to feel his breath, I notice something resting on my upper arm.

Hair. A red hair. Bemused, I pluck at it but even as I do so, more joins it, not just a single strand but a whole tuft, floating down through the air, and then I realise with a thrill of horror and disbelief just where it's coming from. My hand moves upwards, dream-like, but before it reach the top of my head it brushes against my face. Instantly, I freeze, the stab of horror sending ice down my veins.

My face is different.

With a trembling hand, I feel where my skin used to be. But it's different. It's harsh and bumpy and oozing, dipping into my skull at weird places and rising over my fingertips at others, like a big deformity, a mess. It's not me. It's not… But God, it is, I can feel it, feel my hand across it. And I can feel the gentle brush of my hair as it falls from my head, faster and faster, scattering around the bedcover like flecks of blood.

A strangled gasp falls from my lips and seems to fill the room. I can't breathe.

What happened to me?

"K-_Kaoru_-"

It's almost eerie how smoothly he opens his eyes the instant I splutter out his name and, even though I'm so terrified that I'm gasping heavily for every breath, it's only after he uncurls and sits up that he finally looks at me. Apart from raising his eyebrows, he doesn't even look too surprised.

In fact, the only person who matters to me looks amused.

"Wow, Hikaru," he laughs, a low throaty chuckle. "Look at _you_."

I stare back at him, wordless, terrified. I'm clutching frantically at the place where my hair used to be, digging my nails desperately into my skull, scraping them along as if I'm trying to find what should be there. I wouldn't be surprised to see dark blood caught beneath my fingernails. Then my shaking, desperate fingertips hover over my face, trying to make sense of the foreign bumps and juts. I can't breathe.

Kaoru looks at me for a long while, smiling and chuckling to himself. Then his eyes shine and he chirps brightly, "Hey, you can't look like that on your own. Twins have to look the same, right?"

I stare at him, listen to the twisted echo of my own belief. He's gone mad. I have to swallow shakily before replying, "…What are you talking about?"

He smiles.

And then I see him lift something up so it glitters dangerously in the light, winking at me. A huge pair of steel scissors, which I didn't notice him holding before. He looks at them in near-fascination, opening them slowly, slowly, so we can see the light glint along their entire cruel length. Then he snaps them open and closed a few times, like the snapping of feral jaws.

"Pretty, aren't they, Hikaru?"

No. No, they're not. He's gone mad. I want to snatch them from him and slap him back into sanity with my half-insane hands, but I can't move; I'm completely frozen to the spot, ice settling in my gut, one hand clutching my head and the other clutching my throat. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

He laughs at me, as though he finds something on my horrified face funny, and then grabs a huge lock of his healthy red hair, yanking it out. And I mean that literally. He yanks it so hard, his head jerks, though he doesn't seem to notice and simply lifts the sharp scissors. Without hesitation, he jerks them upwards and with a sudden swish, the hair's floating away, down through the air around his wide grin.

"See? I'd do anything for you, Hikaru," he says happily. "And we have to look the same."

I finally find my voice. It comes out raspy and appalled. "What are you doing? Stop it."

He grabs more hair. Yanks it out straight. A flash of silver and snip, snip, snip, it falls from his head and turns grey before it hits the sheet.

"Anything in the world."

"Kaoru, stop it!"

More hair, more hair. Floating away and dying. As he grabs more and more, I suddenly notice his face changing. His eyes stop shining, turning from glittering amber to cold rust, and the whites turn yellow. His skin turns waxy and pale, until it's as white as polished marble. His cheeks flatten and grow gaunt, as if he hasn't eaten for months.

And yet he grabs more hair.

"Stop it! Kaoru, please, stop it!"

I can see his bones, jutting out disgustingly from his suddenly burnt and scarred skin like deformities. The pronounced veins in his neck make me want to retch. His eyeballs have shrunken so much into their sockets that they remind me of a rat peering beadily out from its cave. He barely looks like Kaoru anymore.

He looks…

"Don't Kaoru! _Stop it_!"

But he just shakes his head and unhesitatingly grabs the last lock of hair that isn't a mess of abused fuzz. With a swish of silver, that's gone too. He stares at me expectantly, as if he's waiting for me to praise him or something, looking like a hollow corpse from one of our video games. I can hardly speak from the horror. My head's spinning but I still can't move, save for the violent trembles spreading along my skin.

He looks dead.

"Holy- Shit, Kaoru, you look-"

"Yeah, I know," he interrupts me with a gleeful laugh, the skin straining across his jaw. Then he smiles widely, a living corpse, and opens his mouth.

"Mirror, mirror - right Hikaru?"

_Twins have to look the same, right?_

I begin to scream.

"_Hikaru?"_

Out of nowhere, thick black tar rises from the ground and rears up above me like some horrible great monster. Then it crashes down and engulfs me, swallowing the room up in one foul swoop, surging into my ears, my nose, my mouth. The last thing I see is Kaoru grinning at me.

"_Hika!"_

If I wasn't dead before, surely I'm dying now. I'm thrashing and screaming inside my head, bound by strong black ropes that hiss and writhe like snakes. Words bubble to the surface of my mind as I feel myself surging upwards.

_I hate being a twin. _

_Not yet- Oh God._

_Twins have to look the same, right?_

Deep in the dirty recesses of my subconscious, something snaps. I snap.

"_Hikaru!"_

* * *

><p>Kaoru nearly had a panic attack when he realised his brother was moving. But then, he nearly had a panic attack every time Hikaru's finger so much as twitched. But this time he knew, just <em>knew<em>, was different and he grabbed his twin's hand in excited anticipation as he stared at his face and called his name.

Hikaru had been unconscious since the accident a day or so ago. Apart from a couple of fractured ribs and the nasty bruising that spread across nearly the whole of his body, worsening at his torso, his face had been dealt the most lasting damage. A jagged gash, which had been coupled with a concussion, ran from his left ear, under his eye and then ending at his right temple. It was currently wrapped securely in a clinically white bandage and according to the doctor, there would always be a scar.

But that, all of that, was completely insignificant to Kaoru. His brother was breathing. That was all that mattered.

"Hika? Can you hear me? Hikaru?"

His hold tightened on his brother's hand as Hikaru groaned lowly, crumpling his face into a grimace. Kaoru's breath faltered with immense relief as - for the first time in over 24 hours - his twin's visible eyelid began to flutter open, though he barely got a glance of the deep hazel before it scrunched closed again and Hikaru groaned, feebly pressing a fist to his forehead.

"Oh God, my head…" he moaned, his words slurring as his groggy mind came to the conclusion that he was lying down. Feeling the warmth of Kaoru's hand in his, he mumbled, "Kao… Wh-what happened?"

Kaoru swallowed before replying, grinning weakly in relief at the sight of his brother speaking. "You- you were in an accident, Hikaru."

"An accident?"

"The doctor said you might not remember - you were hit by a car."

"A car?"

"Yeah."

"I was?"

"Yeah."

"Oh…"

Hikaru was silent for several minutes, his eyes resolutely closed as he continued to huff and weakly press his fist against his forehead. Then, without a word, he shifted back and tried to heave himself upwards. Alarmed at the watery grey his face instantly turned, Kaoru hurriedly grabbed hold of his elbow to help steady him and tried not to fret worriedly as Hikaru propped himself up with the pillows, swore darkly under his breath and blinked dully about him. After a few moments, however, an odd look passed over his face. He frowned and squinted before slowly shaking his head, like a sleepy dog.

Then he caught Kaoru by surprise by saying, "Is it dark?"

Kaoru froze.

It was the middle of the day.

It was a full minute before he managed to force himself to speak, something icy and foreboding clawing at the base of his spine. And even then, all he could manage was, "What?"

Hikaru looked completely awake now. Something akin to terror was crossing his face as he insisted, voice threatening to rise in panic, "Is it _dark_?"

After simply staring at him wordlessly for several moments, Kaoru mimicked his twin's prior action by shaking his head before spluttering, "Oh- Y-You got a cut on your face, Hikaru. Your eye's okay, but the bandage just covers it." He let out a high-pitched giggle and tried to smile. "That's probably why it looks dark. You'll just have to look with your right one for a bit, okay? Hika, just- just- Hikaru, look at me. Look at me with your right eye, Hikaru."

He tried. He really did.

He blinked firmly again and again and rubbed his eye furiously before staring hard at the patch of air in front of him. He sat up and tensed in agitation as he rubbed it until it shone pink, his fingernails digging into the mattress and his eyes watering. But still, as he stared desperately about him and internally begged for an image - _any image _- nothing appeared. No light, no movement. The world was gone.

Kaoru could feel his hands trembling as he softly took his twin's face and gently turned it so Hikaru was facing him completely. Then, watching his one visible golden eye, he whispered like a prayer, "Look at me, Hikaru."

Kaoru wondered why he couldn't hear the crash of his tiny world falling to pieces as Hikaru looked right at him and said, "I can't."

* * *

><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**Constructive criticism would be very much appreciated! :D**


	3. Chapter the Third

**Many thanks** to everyone who has read and reviewed and extra thanks to grimdreamer for being an awesome beta reader. :) Enjoy this chapter!

* * *

><p><strong>-3-<strong>

"We just can't find any physical reasons for your blindness."

"Why not?"

"We have considered the possibility of your blindness being psychosomatic. You may want to consider getting psychological-"

"That's bullshit! I'm not mad!"

"I didn't say that. Please do not swear."

"I'll swear all I fu-!"

"Hikaru," Kaoru soothed quietly, fleetingly placing a hand on his brother's arm.

The doctor watched with mild interest as Hikaru instantly calmed down. The younger twin, Kaoru, was sitting on a chair next to him and hadn't taken his worried eyes away from his brother since the doctor arrived; he looked like he hadn't slept for days. The doctor made a mental note to ask him about that before commenting, "If I may continue?"

Hikaru's scowl deepened irritably but he stayed silent.

"Thank you. As I said, your apparent blindness is a complication we didn't foresee and we can't find any physical reason for it. I'm afraid all we can do is treat your other injuries and monitor your vision to see if it improves over time. However, it is known, in some cases, for psychological issues to manifest physical symptoms. I've spoken to your mother about this and she agrees that it may be best to - just in case - arrange some psychotherapy."

"My mother?" Hikaru snorted dismissively, an almost cruel sneer coming to his face. "When was she here?"

The doctor stared at him with cool eyes before replying softly, "I've just had a meeting with her. She's barely left the hospital since the incident, Hikaru. She's very worried about you."

"Oh?" he sneered. "Then where is she now?"

"She was extremely upset after the meeting. I suggested telling you myself."

Hikaru snorted again and fell back heavily into the pillows, obnoxiously signalling his lack of interest. The doctor noticed that Kaoru seemed to move with him, just slightly, as if connected with a magnet. The younger twin's golden eyes still hadn't shifted away from Hikaru's bandaged face. The older man felt his heart go out to him; after working at the hospital for 25 years, he understood the anxiety of being so utterly consumed by worry for someone dear. He made a note to keep an eye on him: understandable though it might be, such concern could get to a point where it just wasn't healthy.

"Is there anything else?" Hikaru drawled rudely, giving the man's direction a disdainful look. The power he could put into his gaze despite not being able to see him was quite amazing.

The doctor sighed and repeated wearily, "I think it's in your own best interests if you give me your permission to arrange some appointments with a psychiatrist. Or at least a counsellor."

"Well you're not getting it. I'm not mad."

"I never said you were, Hikaru. A psychiatrist would simply-"

"Oh, fuck off will you!" he snapped irritably, clenching his eyes shut, though it made no difference whether they were open or closed anymore. "If you're just going to be bloody useless then just leave us alone."

Although the corners of the doctor's lips tightened slightly, he didn't respond. Frustration at his situation, at the people around him and, most importantly, at himself, had made Hikaru's last words tremble.

When Hikaru heard the footsteps of his retreat, he made sure to snort mockingly. The doctor paused at the door and, after giving his patient a parting nod that he couldn't see, said softly to the youngest twin, "If you have any questions, Kaoru, about anything at all, just come to me, okay?"

Kaoru's eyes didn't move. He simply nodded.

As the doctor walked out of the door, he heard Hikaru loudly begin to complain, obviously not caring whether he was still in earshot or not.

"Can you believe him?" he raged. "Bloody nutter. They can't even do their job right! All in my head. For God's sake. I don't know why we pay them anything. Bunch of morons. Like I would make _myself _blind!"

Kaoru's reply was soft and robotic. "Yeah."

"Quit feeling sorry for me, Kaoru."

"Sorry, Hikaru."

* * *

><p>The past three days since Hikaru had woken up had been complete hell for Kaoru.<p>

He was so anxious about his brother's condition and about how they were going to cope, that he hadn't slept a wink. His eyes were beginning to become bloodshot and baggy, losing their characteristic glint. His days were spent helping Hikaru cope with every second and while he loved spending time with him more than anything, this brought no moments of solace as his older brother was so frustrated and upset with his blindness that he had become downright unpleasant. He was even more irritable and short-tempered than before, snapping at anything and pushing everyone - both verbally and emotionally - away. A new nurse had arrived with pain killers earlier that day and he'd nearly driven her to tears.

Only on Kaoru did he tighten his grip. Only with Kaoru did he confess how terrified he was. Kaoru felt as if all his twin's emotions were barraging him along with his own and he wasn't sure how long he could take the onslaught and still stay together. And yet he couldn't find it in himself to take the offered hands of help from his parents or the rest of their family after being resentful of them for so long. Never had the twins realised just how alone they'd made themselves until they were just that.

Completely alone.

Kaoru was currently walking back to Hikaru's hospital room from the canteen, his movements dull and sluggish, balancing a tray on his arms. Hikaru had heard his twin's stomach whine, and after forcing Kaoru to admit that he couldn't remember when he'd last eaten, had demanded that he went to get something for himself.

"I refuse to talk to you unless you go and eat," he'd threatened. "Get me a cake while you're down there."

With barely enough energy to hold it together, never mind assert himself, Kaoru had agreed.

As he walked, he looked down at the items on the tray. First a cake, for Hikaru; it had been a toss up between a syrup sponge and a strawberry tart but he'd decided on the former, something he was sure his brother would like. Then a warm thermos of tea and some biscuits, for them to share later. He'd automatically ordered himself the meal of the day; he wasn't really sure what it was. He'd been too busy choosing Hikaru's cake to notice, though looking at it now it seemed to be some sort of thick curry with a lot of suspicious looking bits in it. He supposed that shapeless lump on the side was an attempt at naan bread.

His footsteps echoed throughout the corridor as he squinted at the weird curry, wondering mildly what was floating around in it. His mind was so lethargic and dull that he didn't even notice the door coming up in front of him until it introduced itself by swinging open and hitting him firmly in the nose.

"_Ah_!"

As Kaoru tumbled backwards and landed hard on the floor, the tray flew out of his grip and there was a loud crash as it slammed against the polished floor and his meal, Hikaru's cake and the thermos smashed and scattered across it. He barely had time to register the pain and give the food a dismayed look when there was a horrified gasp from the door and he suddenly found two hands grabbing him under the arms and hauling him upwards.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!" whoever it was spluttered, and Kaoru just caught sight of a head of bright blond hair before he scowled at the fact the person was now energetically brushing dust off him like an over-enthusiastic maid. "I really do apologise! You're not hurt, are you?"

"Stop that," Kaoru grumbled, slapping away his hands and making sure to pointedly step further from the boy before he wearily frowned down at the mess of food. He was going to have to leave his twin for even longer to go all the way down and get more now. Wonderful. Bloody wonderful.

Annoyed, he glared upwards to get a better look at the perpetrator, who was still apologising profusely. He looked about the same age as Kaoru himself, perhaps a bit older, and stood taller than him too. He had a well-kept head of full blond hair and a pair of eyes that were such a deep blue they almost seemed violet. His perfectly symmetrical features were creased into a worried frown. It was obvious he wasn't an assistant or worker; his jeans and jacket were clearly from a top-notch designer label and his long fingers were too delicate for anything remotely linked to manual labour. Just another pretty boy.

Too tired and grumpy to deem him worth any of his time at all, Kaoru promptly turned away and began stalking back down the corridor, leaving the explosion of food and broken cutlery on the floor behind him. He completely ignored the boy as, with a gasp, he began to splutter guiltily, "Ah, wait! We can't just leave it; someone might slip! An injured warrior on the road of recovery, set back because of a fall! Kyouya would kill me!"

Kaoru wasn't listening in the slightest, though he frowned in annoyance when he realised the blond was trotting after him like an insistent salesman. The twin tried to speed up when he fell into step with him, but he just sped up too. Oblivious to his companion's scowl, the blond opened his mouth to suggest alerting the cleaners when he apparently noticed something. He froze and stared at Kaoru's face for a few long moments before all thoughts of the cleaners were wiped from his mind as realisation and renewed horror made him gasp again.

"It's you!" he announced dramatically, even going as far as thrusting a finger in the Hitachiin's face. "One of the Hitachiin twins! Ah - you're Kaoru, aren't you?"

The redhead scowled and sped up his walk again; the blond however, had longer legs and irritatingly kept up. "Of course I'm Kaoru," he snapped, this being a touchy subject at the best of times. "Hikaru's trapped in a hospital bed for the next month. Who else would I be?"

He was about to tell him as colourfully as possible to leave him alone when his annoying companion suddenly jumped in front of him, nearly causing another collision, and bowed low so hurriedly he nearly kneed himself in the face. The youngest twin stopped and scowled perplexedly at him, considering just pushing him out the way.

"What are you doing? Get out of the-"

"It's my fault."

Kaoru froze. For a long minute, he simply stared down at him incredulously, until finally his lips managed to move again, though only enough to mutter, "…What?"

"The accident," he admitted, guilt heavily layering his voice. "I haven't been able to sleep since. It was my car that hit your brother. I had to leave club early because of a meeting and- I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'll pay you triple fold for any expenses that arise for his care and in - in fact, you can hit me. I deserve it. Go on, punch me."

He then tried to offer his chin and not offer his chin at the same time, resulting in a weird bird-like head movement. Kaoru didn't say anything and simply stared darkly at him; his expression could have been carved from stone.

After a long, excruciating silence, the flustered blond couldn't take it anymore and spluttered, "I know there- there's nothing I can say but I really am deeply-"

"Were you driving?" Kaoru cut across sharply, eyes hard and guarded.

"Oh - no, not personally. My chauffer-"

"You were in the back?"

"Yes, I-"

"Did you tell him to do it?"

"Of course not!"

"Then you have nothing to apologise for. Leave me alone."

He blinked as Kaoru then pushed past him and carried on walking. He stayed there for a few moments thinking, still hunched into a bow, before guilt overcame him again and he hurriedly jumped up to follow. This time, as he fell into step with him, the taller boy looked carefully at Kaoru's expression but no visible sign of annoyance showed on it. It was purposely blank and guarded and his hands were curled into fists, as though to stop them from trembling.

He watched him sadly for a moment before saying kindly, "You know, all that food was a bit much for one person to carry. I'll help you - I'd love to meet your brother too!"

"Don't." Kaoru's answer was listless, his eyes stationed vaguely on the floor. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault. I don't want you to do anything so just go away."

The boy smiled. "Nonsense! I'd be happy to help! Ah, I think introductions are in order! Unless you've heard of me before? I'm quite famous around school these days, though of course, so are the Hitachiin twins!"

"…"

"No?"

"…"

"Well, my name is Tamaki Suoh. Nice to meet you, Kaoru!"

"…"

* * *

><p>When Hikaru heard the door opening, he perked up expectantly, lips beginning to curl into a smile; the moment Kaoru had left, a shameful wash of loneliness had overcome him. He had been spending his half hour alone trying to see, swearing when he couldn't and then sulking. When Hikaru realised it was two sets of footsteps coming into the room, however, the smile disappeared and he instantly deflated. He hadn't trusted the rest of the world anyway, and now that he was blind, that insecurity threw him into an acute panic whenever the comforting presence of his twin was absent. It was both pathetic and painfully real.<p>

"Kaoru?" he ventured hesitantly, straining his ears to the sound of each footfall and trying to distinguish the two. "Is that you?"

"It's me, Hikaru." Kaoru smiled at him and, after giving Tamaki an irritated 'you're-still-here?' type of glance, he made his way to his twin's bedside, a tray in his hands. "Are you okay?"

"Who's with you?" Hikaru demanded suspiciously, despite relaxing the moment he heard his brother's voice.

Kaoru made a general noise and frowned over at Tamaki who was hovering near the door with his hands behind his back, smiling mildly like the dope Kaoru suspected he was. "Tamaki Suoh," he elaborated eventually, turning his attention back to Hikaru. "He goes to our school. He bumped into me and now he's stalking me."

Tamaki noted that he didn't say anything about his car and the fact he was trying to beg for forgiveness like the virtuous being he was, so was about to speak up and introduce himself when Hikaru interrupted him with an indignant snort of, "_Stalking_ you?"

"Well, I'm not-"

"Yeah, he followed me all the way back here like a dog. I told him to go away."

"I-"

"Creepy feet-kissing stalker."

As Tamaki gasped and fell into a minor depression at the accusation (he dropped into a chair to make the depression pose more dramatic), Kaoru sat down on the edge of the bed. Feeling the mattress sink on one side, Hikaru instinctively shifted to the other carefully, as he was conscious of his tender ribs and Kaoru pulled his legs up so they were curled beside him.

Tamaki recovered enough to note this subtle but intimately familiar moment in interest and found both a smile and a feeling of guilt coming to him. It was obvious that these two were incredibly close. He thought he saw Hikaru's golden eyes glance over to him so he quickly made sure to smile at him. Hikaru, however, didn't react.

"I got you a cake," Kaoru said with a smile, placing the tray onto his twin's lap. "They had syrup sponge, so I got that."

"Cool," Hikaru complimented with a vague grin, steadying the tray with one hand as he shifted upwards a bit more. Then he moved his hand until it touched the side of the bowl that contained the golden pudding, which he didn't know nor care if he was supposed to have, and added, "Is there a spoon?"

What happened next made all the blood rush out of Tamaki's face and overcome him with horror.

Kaoru picked up the spoon right in front of his brother, took Hikaru's hand and then put the spoon into it.

The gesture was so simple, and yet so revealing, that realisation instantly pounded down on the blond like an icy wave, piecing every pore and forcing the air from his lungs. Hikaru was… blind. _The accident… _Horrified beyond belief, though this was kind of obvious from the first exchange, his mouth fell open. Any words he had however, seemed to strangle themselves and die in his throat and nothing came out. This was probably for the best, as the hard look Kaoru was suddenly giving him was just _daring_ him to say something.

But he couldn't say a word. Tamaki had never felt so guilty in his life.

Oblivious to Tamaki's wide eyed shock and Kaoru's defensive glare, Hikaru chose then to comment, as he licked a bit of syrup off his lip, "Well, it tastes better than the crap they served yesterday." He ate a bit more before sucking the end of the spoon thoughtfully for a second. Finally he wrinkled his nose and ranted critically, "But our one at home tasted better. The one we got from England. This is too mushy. This whole hospital's a load of crap."

Kaoru's golden eyes stayed locked onto Tamaki's violet ones for a last lingering moment before they slowly returned to his brother. "I'll order some for you," he said. The sight of his blind and bandaged twin seemed to suddenly upset him and Tamaki noted his shoulders tensing and his trembling hands clasping together into a knot. "We can import all your food if you like. Then you'll never have to eat this food again."

Hikaru merely hummed gruffly in response before moodily stabbing his cake. In truth, the food wasn't actually that bad, but Hikaru felt better complaining about it.

Suddenly his head shot up as he remembered something and he gave Kaoru's direction a suspicious glare before demanding, "What did you get?"

"Oh…" Kaoru blinked and looked wordlessly down at his hands for a few moments, as if surprised they were empty. Then he admitted quietly, "Ah… After that guy knocked into me, I guess I just forgot to get some more… I'll go get some in a minute-"

"No need!" Tamaki yelled.

Both twins started, having forgotten he was there, as Tamaki suddenly jumped up, struck a heroic pose and clasped a hand to his chest. Bewildered, Kaoru stared blankly at him; somehow, he could imagine the national flag flying behind Tamaki as he grandly announced, "I'll get it for you, Kaoru! Anything you like! My life and many talents are at both of your services - I will be happy to spend the rest of my life making it up to you! Now, my friend, what would you like?"

While Hikaru just complained that he was being too loud, Kaoru found himself shocked into silence. He stared at the flamboyant blond in complete befuddlement, thrown off beyond belief at his persistence. What was he doing? Kaoru had already told him that it was okay, it wasn't his fault, he could go back to his stupid little life guilt-free. Why was he still butting in? Making it up to them… What the hell was he talking about?

"L-look," Kaoru spluttered, creasing his brow into a deep frown. "You don't need to- Stop it. I already told you, just go away. We're fine as we are."

"Would you like curry again?" Tamaki prompted brightly.

"Wha- no!" Flustered, Kaoru tried getting annoyed. "Go away! Stop hovering. We don't want you here."

"We want you to fuck off," Hikaru translated bluntly, though Tamaki barely batted an eyelash.

Instead he just looked at them for a second, huddled together on the hospital bed like sole survivors of a shipwreck, and Kaoru quickly found himself loathing the softness in his eyes and the understanding kindness in his smile. He didn't _understand _anything. He was just putting on an act, going out of his way to '_make it up to them_' so they would be so touched and surprised that the last thing on their minds would be tarnishing the Souh's name in revenge. Kaoru scowled. Of course, that was what he was doing. That was his motive. That was everyone's motive.

To his own surprise, the younger twin almost felt disappointed.

When Tamaki spoke again, it sounded both like an apology and a plea. "I'll just surprise you then, shall I?"

Taking the stony silence he received as a confirmation, Tamaki instantly beamed and skipped out of the room and towards the canteen, looking for all the world like the happy little elf. He made sure to politely shut the door on his way out and, when he heard the _click_ of it closing, Hikaru instantly sniffed, "What a damn suck-up. He'll be gone within the week."

Kaoru nodded slowly, before flushing as he realised what he'd just done and spoke up instead.

"Definitely," he agreed.

As if he somehow knew what had happened, Hikaru scowled and went to stab the spoon at his cake again, his movements irritated and clumsy, but missed. The spoon hit the rim of it instead and the bowl was sent clattering to the floor. His chest clenching and his mind suffocating in a sudden wave of fury, Hikaru swore explosively and threw the spoon and tray to the floor after it, as though disgusted. The crash echoed around the hollow room, and though to them it seemed like the loudest noise in the world, no came in to check on them.

Kaoru squeezed his twin's hand.

Hikaru snatched it away.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**Constructive criticism would be very much appreciated! :D**


	4. Chapter the Fourth

**Many thanks **to everyone who **reviewed** and to **grimdreamer** for being a wonderful beta reader. : ) I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

><p><strong>-4-<strong>

The doctors had estimated four weeks before Hikaru's ribs had healed enough for him to go home. As it turned out, however, they discharged him after only three weeks, complimenting him on his surprisingly strong recovery. Kaoru on the other hand, couldn't help but wonder whether they were just saying those things to escape being abused by his brother everyday.

After all, Kaoru had practically been Hikaru's fulltime carer during that period. The older twin trusted no one else and the younger refused to let anyone else help; even the nurses had to bargain with them to actually be allowed to do their job. Kaoru had aided him with everything from simply entertaining him to helping him get changed, though the sight of the horrible bruising across Hikaru's bare torso, a mess of sickly yellows and deep violets, made him cringe every time.

Their parents had visited a lot, of course. Twice a day, though they received a united stony front; only occasionally were the twins lulled into joking with them and indulging in what could almost be described as a normal family scene. It was sad but, they decided, it was life, and when their grandmother visited she received much the same response.

Apart from family, the other most frequent visitor was Tamaki, much to their disbelief and annoyance. Despite accusations of being a stalker and being sworn at even more than the staff, he had loyally visited for an hour or so every day after school, leading Kaoru to quickly decide that Tamaki was the strangest person he had ever met. Sporadically, the boy would sink into a melodramatic depression at certain allegations, falling into the chair by the door in a model pose (since he always used that one, the twins had nicknamed it 'the chair of woe'), but he was mostly incredibly thick-skinned. Not a day went by that they didn't insult him and tell him to get lost, but he took it all light-heartedly, and eventually, they stopped ignoring him and let him join in the conversation, just a little.

He constantly referred to them as his 'friends', and occasionally, Kaoru wondered whether that was becoming true - were they friends? - but then Hikaru would never fail to snort and say, with little or no compassion in his voice, '_He'll leave eventually_', and Kaoru would reluctantly agree.

While they kept him at a distance, was it far enough?

* * *

><p>Hikaru was uncharacteristically quiet when they finally returned home. His mother, of course, was elated to have her sons back; she had chatted brightly about casual things like a recently opened art gallery as they drove towards their mansion, eyes welling up with silent tears, and when they alighted in the driveway and entered the foyer, she seemed quite insistent on them going into the living room.<p>

"This way, Hikaru," she said happily, winking at him, a gesture Kaoru dryly observed as being a bit pointless. "I invited someone to surprise you! He's just in-"

"I want to go to my room," Hikaru interrupted. "I'll come down in a minute."

"Ah, but-"

"I'm going to my room first," he repeated stonily, rudely walking off, only hesitating to wait for Kaoru to catch up. After throwing their mother a fleeting apologetic glance, Kaoru followed and let his older brother lean on him to take the pressure off his still healing body as they walked up the staircase.

Hikaru's mood had been caught in a tightly-wound cycle for the last few days; first, he would be limp and listless, staring into the distance, then silently furious, clenching his fists and scowling. Sometimes there would be some explosively malicious outburst, like when he'd called the doctor a 'useless bastard' in front of a handful of his patients, and then there would be a fleeting moments when he looked genuinely upset and, to Kaoru, painfully vulnerable.

Only for the whole thing to start again, a self-destroying reflex he just couldn't help. It saddened Kaoru as much as it frightened the people who got in Hikaru's way, because he felt it was obvious proof of the numerous restless emotions boiling beneath his brother's skin, like rapids of furious lava hiding under a frail layer of rock. And really, the younger twin thought sadly, why shouldn't there be? Hikaru's life had been mutilated beyond repair. It was enough to drive anyone mad.

When they reached their room, Hikaru didn't say anything. He just stood there blankly, hardened face raised to the ceiling like he was staring down some higher being, continuously curling and uncurling his trembling fists. Kaoru hovered for a second before recognising the desire to have a moment alone and saying softly, "I'm just going to wash my face and wake myself up a bit, 'kay Hikaru?"

He took the silence as acknowledgement and wandered into their en-suite bathroom, leaving his older brother alone in their room.

_So_, Hikaru thought bitterly, clenching his hands faster and faster until they finally stayed as tight fists, his nails digging sharply into his skin. _Apparently, I'm in my room, in my house._

It was strange the things you notice when you no longer had the wonder of sight to rely on; he'd never noticed how much his feet sunk into his carpet, for example, nor how long it actually took to get to their room from the door nor how many steps there were in-between. He'd counted them on the way and it had driven him livid to do so, one, two, three, four, all the way to twenty-one steps. He didn't know that, in this place he'd lived in all his life, there were exactly twenty-one steps between the door and his bedroom.

His breath was becoming laboured and he felt tremors spread across his skin, leaving a trail of highly-charged goose bumps.

He… hated this. He _loathed _it. He didn't want to listen and feel his way around the world; he wanted to _see_ all that vivid beauty he'd never bothered to take notice of before. All he could see now was an immense sea of nothingness. Though occasionally he did catch something, like a shifting within it as something moved before him, and his heart would leap in excitement-

But it didn't change. There was nothing but nothing.

Here he was, in the place he'd grown up, in his home, and it was all so foreign to him. He didn't even know his way around anymore, not like he should. Spin him around and Hikaru would be lost forever, the loser in a maddening game of blind man's bluff, which was set to last the rest of his life. Everyone, everything, was easily dancing just out of his reach, and though his fingertips constantly brushed the hems of their clothes, he'd never catch them, he'd never win - never, never, never!

With his head spinning sickeningly and a horrible greasy sensation settling in his gut, Hikaru lifted his arms like a zombie and shuffled to where he thought his desk was, feeling pathetic. Something hard collided with his fingertips - _the wall _- and he groped around until he found their desk, a stupidly stylish thing made of cool steel. He moved his hand across it and the first thing it connected with was cold and hard; he instinctively curled his fingers around it. It was only after he had picked it up and experimentally brushed his fingertips over its surface that he realised what he was holding. One of a trio of hand-painted monkey statues that his father had brought for them after one of his trips, a small figure made of stone that Hikaru had mostly ignored until now.

Vaguely curious, he felt around the monkey's little face to see which one it was and groaned aloud when he realised that its tiny hands were clamped around its eyes.

_See no evil._

_Very funny, _he thought bitterly.

For a few long minutes, he simply stood there, running his fingers again and again over the surface of the statue. If memory served, he knew what it looked like beyond the veil over his eyes - a chubby little monkey sitting on a fat pedestal that bore its motto, its tiny toes curling over the edge. There was a mischievous smile just visible on its face and the elegant strokes of paint that decorated the cool grey stone were from a range of different browns and creams. He built up in his mind what it _should _look like, what he _should_ be seeing before him, what _was _actually there. It was familiar and close and yet frustratingly out of reach.

And then, in a moment of desperation, he let enter his mind the thought, _Please God, please, don't let me stay like this_. He felt his eyes sting with a surge of bitterness as he dropped the figure and stared pleadingly about him, begging inside his head. _God, God, please, please, please, let me see, let me see. I know I'm an ass but don't- Just- just don't- _

But nothing changed. It wasn't even blackness in front of his eyes but just… nothing. That was the only way to explain it to himself. It wasn't black, but a void of nothingness. No light, no movement, no anything.

A dark, vile sensation swept down his body, like when you don't realise that there's a descending step ahead and your foot falls, down, down through the air with a moment of sick, disorientated surprise. Except it wasn't just a step. It was a whole staircase.

_I'm blind. I'm never going to see again. I'm- I'm never-_

_I'm never going to see Kaoru again._

That was when he snapped.

In a surge of fury, he snatched up the small statue again and threw it at the wall with all his might. Instead of a dull thud of it embedding into the wall, there was an ear-splitting _smash_, which seemed to rebound through the marrow of his bones.

"What the hell was that?" Kaoru yelped and Hikaru's joints locked in place as he realised that he hadn't spun round to face the wall at all. He'd faced the bathroom door that Kaoru had walked into and now he imagined the cowering monkey statue lying among the splinters of the mirror it had hit. Beside the mess would be Kaoru and in the shards would be Hikaru: there, and there, and there.

_See no evil, see no evil, see no evil._

"H-Hikaru?" Kaoru called cautiously, and Hikaru thought he heard the soft pad of his footsteps re-entering the room. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" he snapped, irrationally livid at his twin for even asking, tears of frustration jabbing at his eyes. "Why would I be okay, Kaoru? _Why_? I'm fucking _blind_! How am I supposed to do anything like before with a pair of fucking dead eyes in my skull?"

"H-Hikaru," Kaoru stammered and Hikaru imaged his face paling dramatically against his red hair. There was a pause before Kaoru spoke again. "You- you might be able to- to see again. You know what the doctor said, he can't find anything physically wrong with you, so it might get better-"

"That's a load of crap and you know it," Hikaru snapped, twisting his face into a cruel sneer. All of his intense emotions from the last few weeks seemed to be reaching an unbearable height, and like it often did in these kinds of situations, it chose to crash down on the person he cared about most. "People will be able to tell us apart now, won't they, Kaoru? I'm the one who's screwed up and you're the twin who _works_. Do I look stupid standing here, Kaoru? What do I look like from over there?"

"Don't, Hika-"

"Why does it have to be me? If we're identical, _why does it have to be me_? You just get to see everything for both of us, don't you?"

"I don't want-"

"Well, fuck you, Kaoru. _Fuck you_."

And with that he turned on his heel and angrily marched to the door-

-only to walk straight into it.

It knocked a string of frustrated swears from his mouth and he clapped a hand to his nose, before glaring over in Kaoru's general direction as though daring him to laugh.

Kaoru didn't laugh. He didn't think he had ever seen anything less funny in his life.

Face red, Eyes watering, Hikaru clumsily groped for the handle and furiously yanked it back. He made sure to slam the door after him, banging it with such force that door seemed to tremble in its frame.

For what felt like a long while, Kaoru Hitachiin simply stared after his twin, trembling and swallowing thickly. He ordered his legs to move, to run after him, but they seemed to have grown roots. His joints locked in place and turned to stone and the only movement he could manage was to continuously swallow, choking back the hard lump in his throat, and turn his head to look at the statue Hikaru had thrown. It had landed in the sink, chipping some of the marble on its descent, sprinkled with tiny splinters of glass that had come away with it. He lifted his eyes to the mirror and stared past the spider web of cracks.

It was only when the door reopened that he jumped back to life.

"Are you okay, Kaoru?"

Standing at his door, looking scared, was Tamaki.

Light drifting in from the hallway made the wisps of his blond hair look like some sort of halo. "I was coming to greet you both when I heard a huge bang. I thought one of you might have fallen or something…"

Kaoru stared at Tamaki in silence. Then, for the first time since the accident, his knees gave way and he burst into tears.

"Kaoru!" Tamaki yelped, sounding panicked. Kaoru's knees barely hit the floor before he felt Tamaki's hands under the arms, hauling him upwards. Kaoru didn't want Tamaki's support; he didn't want to lean on him. He wanted to stop crying, push the stupid blond away and search the house for his twin.

Even as these thoughts came to him, Kaoru passively let Tamaki lead him to the bed and sobbed harder than he had ever done in his life.

And if he wasn't half-hysterical, he would have grimly remarked that it just got worse from there, as he dropped onto the bed, hunched over and buried his face in his hands, as if he were praying. Words were blurted against his will and better judgement, palms muffled his voice, broken by his sobs.

"I- I just don't- don't know what I can do t-to help and it's h-hurting him so- so d-damned much…"

Tamaki, whom their mother had originally invited as a surprise (she was under the impression that the twins had finally made a friend), sat carefully beside him on the bed, expression soft. "I do understand, Kaoru," he said quietly, but Kaoru simply scowled at his words.

Kaoru pulled his hands from his face and let them fall into his lap, where he glared at his sodden palms, as though disgusted. His golden eyes stayed locked there as he said through stiff lips, "Understand…? You don't _understand_. How can you? Stop- stop acting like such a damn _saint_ when you- you're just-" Suddenly an odd expression took over the younger boy's face, miserable and loathing. "It's all your fault, Tamaki," he hissed. "You did it. _This is all your fault! _Why did Hikaru have to be the one to-? I hate you, Tamaki, I _hate _you. I'll never forgive you. So why don't you just- just- I just want you to _fuck off_! Leave us alone! I hate you!"

His last words rang about them in the hollow room - _I hate you, I hate you _- and for a long time, they both retained a strained silence. Despite his uncharacteristic outburst, Kaoru never once looked at Tamaki but instead scrunched his eyes closed and hunched over even more. Tamaki sat casually, as if not affected by the twin's words, though as he watched Kaoru his violet eyes had, for the first time, become hard and stern.

Finally he said severely, "Don't you dare blame yourself."

Kaoru's eyes flew open. "I- I don't. Didn't you hear me? I said I blame you, not me, _you_."

"I know what you said, Kaoru, but I also know what you meant," he reprimanded softly. "I understand what it's like to spend… every waking moment worrying about something you… can't change." His words were becoming even softer as he reminisced and there was a long, thoughtful pause before he spoke again. Kaoru had started trembling. "But whatever you do, don't blame yourself and don't hate yourself. There's nothing you could have done and you can't have it instead of him. Hikaru would certainly have something to say about that."

"I feel useless."

"You shouldn't. I've never seen anyone work so hard."

Kaoru fell silent. The last remains of tears dropped from his eyelashes and he saw them fall into the palms of his hands. At length, Tamaki smiled and, with a chirp of '_Cheer up, Kaoru!_', he casually put one arm around him and gave him a comforting squeeze.

Though the gesture was fleeting and Tamaki's hands were swiftly returned to his lap, Kaoru found himself stiffening at the contact. Face warming, he finally lifted his watery eyes to stare incredulously at Tamaki before demanding, flustered, "What's _wrong_ with you? Why do you keep insisting on acting like- like- _that_?"

Tamaki beamed brightly at him. "Isn't that what friends do?"

Kaoru's eyes hardened. "You're not my friend. You're only here because you kept butting in and ignoring us when we told you to leave."

"Mm. Well, at first I couldn't help it. I wanted to make it up to you. Do you really want me to leave, Kaoru? I will if you do."

There was a pause.

"…I'm going to find Hikaru."

"Okay. May I visit tomorrow?"

Kaoru looked away. "…Suppose."

* * *

><p>Kaoru had a pretty good idea where to find his brother whenever he had stalked off to sulk. Before, it would be either his bedroom or the garden, probably up a tree or at the roots of one, but now that their own home was a foreign challenge to him, it would be somewhere else. Luckily, as he had a healthy dose of logic and a crystal clear knowledge of Hikaru's temperament, Kaoru still knew exactly where to go.<p>

When he left their room, he turned right and strode confidently down the corridor, making sure to hurriedly brush away remains of tears with the back of his sleeve and wiggling a few fingers distractedly at Tamaki in farewell. When the corridor split into a fork, he turned right and when it split again, he turned right again, his footsteps pounding against the carpet in a constant and furious rhythm, as he imaged Hikaru's had. He was in the south wing now and walked down it all the way to the end, where a large window presided over the vibrant garden. Then he turned right one more time. He was now facing a plain oak door that was firmly shut and which he knew led to a stairway that rose up to part of the attic.

Slowly, Kaoru lifted a hand to the golden doorknob and twisted it so the door swung open before him.

And, sure enough, half way up the stairs with his head in his hands and his shoulders trembling, was Hikaru.

Without a word, Kaoru shut the door again behind him so the little passage was thrown again into musky gloom, lit only by a tiny window embedded high on the wall. He quietly padded up the stairs to his brother's step and, equally as silently, Hikaru shifted over so he could sit down. Though the enclosed staircase was wide enough for them to fit, it was still a bit of a squeeze; their hips jammed next to each other and their legs tangled. However, once Kaoru had softly wrapped an arm around him and Hikaru had in turn leaned towards him, they found that they fit well enough.

They stayed like that for a while and at length Kaoru began to study his twin's face. His red hair hung limp over his pale skin, and his eyes seemed depressed and drained, as if someone had stolen the plug and let all his beautiful vividness bleed away. All around his angular eyes was red and puffy. With a stab of sadness and what almost felt like guilt, Kaoru realised that while he had been having his own miniature breakdown in the presence of Tamaki, Hikaru had been crying to no one but himself in this claustrophobic stairway.

_Though_, Kaoru mused sullenly to himself, recalling his twin's earlier words, _perhaps time away from me is what he wants. I would, wouldn't I? I mean… Would- Ah, I don't know anything anymore._

"I'm sorry, Kaoru," Hikaru suddenly mumbled, sitting straighter and giving his direction a sad glance, more out of habit than anything else. He looked ashamed of himself. "I shouldn't have shouted at you. I don't really want you to fuck off."

Kaoru snorted quietly and smiled as he softly bumped his shoulder to his brother's. "S'alright," he told him. "You're allowed to get angry." He paused and then tried teasing, bumping their shoulders again. "Just don't smash the house up next time, yeah? Though it was a pretty awesome shot to get it just through the bathroom door like that."

Instead of preening and boasting that, true, it was a particularly awesome throw, Hikaru just remained silent. Then Kaoru blinked as Hikaru turned to him, out of the blue and without a word, and began to trace a hand over his features. Kaoru stared for a moment, before faithfully closing his eyes and letting his blind twin brush his fingertips across the familiar surface of his cheeks, his lips, his eyelids.

Then Hikaru grinned gently, ruffled Kaoru's soft red hair and said, "You, little brother, I can still see. I can always see you."

Kaoru felt himself crumble slightly, something clogging up his throat that seemed suspiciously like a sob.

"For example," Hikaru continued lightly, "I know that right now you're not talking because you want to start blubbering like the great big cry-baby you really are." His fingertips drifted over to brush beneath his twin's golden eyes and he grinned mockingly as, sure enough, they came away wet with the start of tears. "So predictable," he teased, fondly.

"Sh-shut up," Kaoru spluttered, before taking a deep, shaky breath and smothering his tears in his brother's shoulder. Eyes closed, he whispered, "I'm sorry too. I love you, Hikaru."

"I know."

Hikaru kept his eyes open, because it made no difference, and wrapped his arms securely around his twin's shoulders, brow aching with the effort of keeping himself together. He felt lost at sea, holding desperately onto his most important thing, the only reason he lived, despite the fact it was dragging him down slowly below the deadly waves. But how was he supposed to let go?

He closed his eyes.

"I love you too, Kaoru."

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><p><strong>Please review! :D<strong>


	5. Chapter the Fifth

Hey, I'm alive! *blows dust away* Anyone there? :)

Mega sorry for abandoning my stories for so long, but I've been incredibly busy with studying and a part time job. I do want to finish these stories (i.e. both this one and 'I don't Believe in Love at First Sight') so I've decided to steadily upload the backlog of un-betaed chapters I have and then try to completely finish it in June (Camp NaNoWriMo!).

I hope everyone who's still reading enjoys this chapter :) Thank you~

* * *

><p>Though I'm not submitting this to be beta-ed anymore, as I barely have time to do much on them and I want to get them out quickly, many thanks to grimdreamer. She is a most wonderful beta reader and I humbly offer her a mountain of Snickers bars. You'll have them as soon as I work out how to fit them through the computer. :)<p>

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><p><strong>-5-<strong>

For the first time in his life, Kaoru felt he simply couldn't catch up with his brother's mind.

Hikaru's moods were changing unpredictably and dramatically, from timid and earnest to furious and aggressive with little or no provocation. He seemed to be on a roller coaster, constantly twisting and turning, rearing towards the sky and then dipping sharply to skim along hell. Kaoru, his other half, was being left to run along behind and it was honestly exhausting him.

Earlier that day their family's doctor had been round to visit and, with their mother and father in tow, they had all sat down to listen as he prattled on about Hikaru's options. Guide dogs and sticks and Braille and special schools for the blind and then again with the therapy, because you never know, Hikaru, you never know…

Hikaru had been silent and thoughtful at first, listening intently but refusing to contribute so much as a 'hello'. Kaoru had been watching his face carefully when he finally snapped and his mood twisted downwards so fast Kaoru was surprised he didn't get whiplash. Anger seemed to build in the older twin's expression in a matter of seconds and all at once he was on his feet, clenching his fists and snapping, "_Bullshit! _I don't _fucking_ need anything, I don't need any of it! I'm not a fucking _invalid_! Just piss off, leave me alone and stick your fucking therapy!"

Then he had stormed off furiously, leaving Kaoru to hastily gather his wits and sprint after him to make sure he didn't look like even more of an ass by walking into something during his dramatic exit. And now, a mere half hour later, the two were walking hand-in-hand through a commoner park and Hikaru looked so innocently content that you couldn't believe he even knew how to swear. Kaoru just couldn't keep up. He was trying, he really was, but he'd never felt so exhausted in his life. Even when Tamaki visited, with a box of teacakes and a smile, he felt constantly on edge.

Of course, Kaoru was so obsessed with his twin's well-being that he'd hardly noticed himself. His moods were mirroring and changing in sync with Hikaru's, twisting into a downward spiral. If Hikaru was angry, Kaoru was stoic. If Hikaru was sad, Kaoru was comforting. If Hikaru was strong, Kaoru was bursting into tears.

And if Hikaru wanted to walk through a park for no reason whatsoever then, damn it, Kaoru was going to walk through a park for no reason whatsoever.

"It's a nice day," Kaoru commented. He looked about him at the lush greens and reddish-browns of the foliage and watched a handful of commoner children scarper around a field, squealing happily. A cool breeze calmed his sun-beaten brow and he caught the sound of it gently whistling through the trees lining the path about them. "It's warm," he prompted, glancing over at his twin.

"Warm's something, I suppose," Hikaru replied dispassionately, shrugging and looking as through he wasn't particularly keen on being interested in anything ever again. The peace on his face was dull and bored and he didn't say anything else. Kaoru sighed.

"Hikaru," he pressed. Though the older twin wearily inclined his head as an invitation to continue, Kaoru then hesitated, as he knew he was about to walk on very shaky ground. But then again, if he couldn't, who could? "I know you don't want to talk about it, Hika," he said finally, his words hurried as though he was keen to get them out. "But about what the doctor said today… I was thinking - not now but soon - maybe we should start thinking about that sort of thing, you know? I mean, it's all stuff to help you…"

Kaoru's words trailed off as he carefully watched his brother's face. He calculated a number of possible responses in his head and felt slightly disheartened when, instead of taking his lead and being serious, Hikaru just smirked and teased, "I don't need any of that, Kao, I have _you_ to be my bitch- _ah_, I mean, my guide."

Kaoru scowled and Hikaru grinned toothily at him.

"Git. I'm being serious," he whined, but Hikaru just shrugged with obnoxious airiness.

"I know," he said. "Sorry, Kao, but right now, I can't be bothered to be serious. Everything's so bloody serious. Let's just chill together, okay? In fact, let's go on holiday. I wanna go to Spain."

Pouting, Kaoru huffed and though it was generally a taboo subject, couldn't help but grumble, "You have more mood swings than a bipolar pregnant woman…"

It was as Hikaru was laughing loudly that Kaoru noticed, to his shock, a certain blond head bobbing around the iron gates of the entrance, not ten feet away from them. Hurriedly, he tugged on his twin's hand and whispered his discovery but before they could formulate a plan of escape, the blond head in question had turned towards them and started emitted some strange squawking noises.

"Kaoru! Hikaru! _Over here_!" Tamaki yelled excitedly, waving a whole arm in their direction.

"Hell! Is he _stalking _us?" Hikaru demanded in disbelief, groaning dramatically when he heard the rhythmic _stomp-stomp-stomp _of someone running towards them. Resigned, Kaoru tugged at his twin's hand, like a guide dog nosing his owner in the right direction, and the two of them wandered over to meet him.

"Hey, Tamaki," Kaoru greeted wearily, eyeing him up and down as he reached them and beamed idiotically. He was dressed for the warm summer weather and as Kaoru said '_I thought you were busy today?_' he suddenly noticed that the blond wasn't alone.

Walking up behind him very slowly, dressed in cheap, casual clothes and carrying a bulging shopping bag with one arm, was a girl.

She seemed to be about their age even though she was more than a whole head shorter, and was rather plain by all accounts; her hair was brown and chopped and her figure was so non-existent it was almost funny. Her eyes, he granted, were quite pretty, deep and chocolate brown, but she still seemed like a strange match for Tamaki. From her clothes she was obviously a commoner, as no one else would be caught dead in such things, while the blond was so rich that acting like a royal was practically part of his personality.

"Oh, yes!" Tamaki was saying enthusiastically. "I am! You see, I'm afraid I've been neglecting my parental duties as of late, so I had to do something to make sure my girl knows I care!" And there he paused to hook an arm around the girl and pull her, yelping in protest, into the conversation. Hikaru stiffened as he heard the scuffle of footsteps and extra voice and realised for the first time that someone else was standing there. "And so! I've decided to dedicate all today to spending time with my darling daughter!"

The twins blinked.

"…Your…? _You never said you have a_-!"

"_Bloody hell_, Tamaki, you man slag!"

"No, wait!" Tamaki yelped, instantly looking horrified at the implications and the twins' identical expressions of shock. "Not-! Not biologically! I mean she's _like _my daughter… I'm a father figure, see…"

As the twins just looked confused - and slightly freaked out - the girl sighed and finally spoke up in a blunt drawl, sparing Tamaki an irritated look as she did so.

"People are going to get confused if you say it like that," she said. "And I _don't _think of you as a father figure. I wish you'd stop saying that." Tamaki simply laughed in response, as though he didn't believe her, and Kaoru dryly marvelled at his obliviousness as the girl twitched in annoyance. Then he blinked as she turned to his brother and bowed, looking strangely solemn. "I'm sorry about your accident, Hikaru," she said to him, before looking at both of them in turn. "It must be very hard for both of you."

As Hikaru only replied by staring wordlessly at the sky, Kaoru took it upon himself to mutter, confused, "Uh- thanks." A pause. "You know our names." Another pause. "Do we, uh - do we know you?"

For some reason, the girl looked wearily amused by that, but before she could reply Tamaki had interrupted with a flapping hand gesture and a frantic hiss of, "_Shush, shush_! Haruhi, how can we protect you if you keep forgetting the concept of a secret?"

"Secret?" Hikaru finally spoke up sharply, and Kaoru noted his brow tightening in a way it did when he was annoyed. So much for the good mood. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't really care," the girl - _Haruhi_ - drawled back to Tamaki dispassionately. "And I thought these were your new friends? It's obvious now anyway, as we're in the same class."

"No, we're not," Kaoru blurted, almost sounding affronted, and beside him Hikaru's brow furrowed even more. "There's no commoner girl in our class."

Once again, that look of weary amusement returned to the brunette's eyes. Ignoring Tamaki, who was emitting a strange indecisive whining noise that sounded like a faulty kettle, she looked at them and said plainly, "I'm Haruhi Fujioka. I sit in front of you in class, though I'm generally dressed as a boy because of…" Her eyes flickered to Tamaki. "…annoying circumstances."

"But it's a secret!" put in Tamaki quickly.

"I really don't care if you tell…"

"She's the host club's secret flower!"

"…_Why_ am I a flower, Tamaki, really?"

And just like that, the two fell into obviously well-practised bickering, Tamaki's laughably earnest expression a contrast to Haruhi's blunt frown.

The twins meanwhile, were in a state of shock.

Kaoru stared openly at her and realised with jolt that, now she mentioned it, she _did _look identical to the fawned-over scholarship student, though he'd never paid the commoner much attention before. He paused and experimentally shook his head, but the uncanny resemblance was still there and what's more, the person in front of him was still definitely a girl. Quickly ridding the idea of a recent sex-change, Kaoru tried to remove the gormless shock from his expression as he digested the odd news.

To think the tragic hero of their female classmate's fantasies was actually a _girl_? It was so ridiculous he wanted to laugh. The fact her real gender had gone past unnoticed by the twins was no real surprise, as they paid little attention to their classmates anyway and when they did it was only to mock them… but still.

_He_ was a _she_? It was as stupid as it was suddenly obvious and Kaoru couldn't quite get his head around it. He felt bewildered. How was he supposed to react? Clueless to an answer to that, he instinctively did what he always did in these sorts of situations and turned to look at twin for help, finally dragging his eyes away from the still arguing commoner - commoner _girl_, that is.

When he caught sight of Hikaru however, he realised with some alarm that the news hadn't been taken well. Hikaru was glaring in the direction of their voices and, as his hold on Kaoru's hand tightened, the blood all rushed to his face angrily and blemished his features. The younger twin could see the flurry of thoughts darkening his eyes and the tension build up like the countdown to a bomb, and even as Kaoru squeezed his hand, he knew the comfort was arriving too late.

"So we're changing gender now?" Hikaru explosively snarled, successfully ending Tamaki and Haruhi's banter; they both looked at him owlishly. "What, I turn blind and the rest of the world decides to dish out some pathetic fucking joke? Because _how_ will _I _ever know the difference?"

Alarm was quickly coming to Tamaki's face, the twin's anger apparently sobering him up. "No," he said hurriedly. "Hikaru, it's not-"

"_Hilarious_, Tamaki, just _hilarious_. Piss off, why don't you?"

"Look, I know it-"

"In fact, just _leave us alone for good_! We don't care about you and we don't need a _friend_."

"Hikaru-" It was Haruhi who spoke up then, which was admittedly rather brave, but Hikaru merely sneered in her direction before storming off, forcefully dragging Kaoru with him and almost banging into several people.

Kaoru opened his mouth to speak until he realised that Hikaru's hand, curled around his like a vice, was trembling. But he knew, just knew, that the emotion sending tremors over his brother's skin was more than just anger. There was something else.

He closed his mouth. And, without another glance at the stunned people behind him, he fell into step with Hikaru and began to think.

* * *

><p>Kaoru watched Hikaru wordlessly as the oldest began to pace around in a tight circle, banging his feet down hard with each step. They had gone straight home and to their room after the confrontation with Tamaki and Haruhi, and neither had spoken a word to each other. Hikaru had been silent simply because he wanted to sulk and fume to himself. Kaoru, on the other hand, was bidding his time and building his courage.<p>

He'd made a decision.

Becoming blind for ungraspable reasons was obviously a very traumatic and hard-bearing experience, and in some respects Hikaru was riding through it fairly well. He wasn't isolating himself from his twin and refusing to emerge from his bed after all. But it another, proportionately larger respect, Hikaru was cracking under the pressure, like a seemingly sturdy tree splintering under the weight of the wind. He was livid and snappish and reclusive and then, on the other side of the coin, he smiled brightly and teased and cared just like before. Only his twin however, saw that side.

Kaoru was so closely entwined and so readily in sync with his brother that it took a long time to detangle himself and take a objective view on how to help. As he'd stared at Hikaru's trembling hand, the image of Tamaki still in his mind, he had finally worked it out.

He'd thought of a solution as well, through the very idea made him guilty and sick to his stomach. Hence the courage-building.

Hikaru seemed to have given up on pacing and all of a sudden was collapsed on the bed next to him, one arm splayed over his face in defeat. As the bed rocked slightly with his brother's weight, Kaoru found himself standing up, legs projecting him forward, as if only those standing could speak. Hesitating, the younger twin tried to bide some time by simply looking over at his brother, though the decidedly miserable expression on his face hurt too much to look at.

Finally Kaoru burst out, almost wildly, "She _is _a girl, you know."

Hikaru grunted.

Taking that as an invitation to continue, he carried on. "It surprised me too but… Tamaki wasn't lying. It wasn't a joke. She was pretty obviously a girl."

"Obvious if you could see her?" He spat out the words like acid.

"Yes," he said plainly. "Though her voice was kind of feminine too, wasn't it? She was. You trust me, don't you?"

Hikaru simply snorted at that, though Kaoru understood it to be, not a snort of ridicule, but one of dismissal. _Well, duh, of course I trust you, idiot. Trusting you is as easy as breathing_. Though as soon as that interpretation formed in Kaoru's head, he suddenly felt disgustingly blasphemous. How could he think of going against him like this? He was betraying his own dear twin and yet still the words came out, not ebbed by his disgust.

"I don't think… trusting me is enough anymore, Hikaru."

There was a pause before Hikaru's arm finally moved from his face and he frowned in Kaoru's general direction. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" _Please don't hate me. _"I… think you should go to the therapy."

Hikaru stared at him. Kaoru stared back. The scar on the older brother's face, which Kaoru barely usually noticed, suddenly seemed stark and alarming. Then Hikaru's face crumpled into a harsh scowl and Kaoru winced, expecting a disowning or a scream, or at least a impulsive swear or two. But, to his surprise, Hikaru didn't say anything. He just stopped and scowled and kept his head inclined in his brother's direction, as if waiting - no, _demanding_ - an explanation.

Flustered, Kaoru tried to explain, so fast that his words seemed to trip over each other.

"It's just that- I won't be there all the time, Hikaru. You're going to have to trust other people. I don't think you can gain any independence like this being- afraid of the world. And- and I know I'm worse for that, Hika, I am and I'm sorry but- this therapy's supposed to help you cope, isn't it? I'm really worried about you." His words were getting more passionate and less apologetic as he spoke and all of a sudden, he sounded as if he thought he was standing up on a podium, fighting to get elected. "And even if there's just a tiny chance, just the tiniest chance, that therapy will help you get your sight back, isn't it worth it? Because, God, I'd do anything to help you see again, Hika, I really would."

Hikaru didn't reply. As Kaoru left his words to hang meaningfully in the air, the older simply sat up and propped his elbows on his knees, his head rocking slowly between his hands. His hair fell over his eyes so his brother couldn't see the frustrated tears clouding them. Then he said quietly, "I really don't want to go. I don't- I'm not mad."

"I know."

"…I feel like I am, Kao."

Kaoru looked at him helplessly.

"I don't trust what people are telling me I should be seeing. I barely believe any of it's actually there." Hikaru looked miserably up at his twin with useless, watery eyes, and saw nothing. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Kaoru paused and then said, trying to be comforting, "You're just as sane as I am, Hika."

The corner of Hikaru's lips twitched and they were both suddenly overcome with a strange desire to laugh, filled with a sort of black humour. Hikaru let out an odd half guffaw, half sob, and Kaoru tittered squeakily. Identical smirks shadowed their lips. It didn't feel as though the intimate, sullen atmosphere had cleared, but rather that they had passed through it, leaving them with - not quite closure - but a lingering close acceptance.

It was while indulging in this feeling that Kaoru felt it apt to say, "I think we can trust Tamaki."

Hikaru raised his eyebrows to indicate he had heard, though he was too busy trying to be discreet about wiping away his tears to reply with anything tangible.

"In fact, I think," Kaoru added, sounding as though he was informing himself of this as well as Hikaru, "Tamaki's my friend."

The phrase sounded odd coming from one of their mouths and Hikaru sighed uncooperatively. "Is he."

"Yes." Kaoru paused before trying again, frowning. "Tamaki's my _friend_."

"Good for you."

"I _said_, he's my-"

"I heard you the first time."

"_Hikaru_!"

"Alright!" He gave up with a grumpy pout and a wild wave of the hand. "_Jesus_, yes, he's my _bloody_ friend too. We're the best of buddies! Hell, we're one step away from eloping and screwing up biology by having some messed up spawn!"

Kaoru sniggered and, though the sarcasm was literally oozing off Hikaru's words, decided that it was good enough. He smiled and sat down next to him, feeling strangely exhausted. Their shoulders bumped on the way down, though as they did so a strange, indistinct sensation crawled up Kaoru's spine. It was like a shadow, a tiny shudder, something not clear enough to nail down with a name, though it was enough to prompt him into saying, "You don't need to go that far."

Then he grinned. "And really," he added, tone mocking, "why defy biology and have messed up kids with him and when you can have messed up _incestuous_ kids with me?"

Hikaru snorted, lips twitching.

"You drive a hard bargain, Kaoru."

He smiled.

"I do, don't I?"

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><p><strong>Please review :)<strong>


	6. Chapter the Sixth

**Big thanks to everyone who reviewed; I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Things will be moving on a bit faster very soon.**

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><p>-6-<p>

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><p>Kaoru was holding some soup.<p>

He wasn't quite sure why he was, but he was.

Bewildered, he passed the thermos containing the broth from hand to hand before curiously unscrewing the lid and sniffing it. A surprisingly appetising scent of herby tomato wafted up to him and, replacing the lid, he asked the maid once again who had brought it.

"A brown haired boy from your school visited an hour ago with it, while you were still in bed, sir," she repeated smoothly. "He just left his name and that note. I believe he was on his way to school."

Nodding distractedly, Kaoru looked down at the note in question, a folded piece of ordinary lined notepaper, which was taped clumsily onto the side of the container. He flicked it open with his thumb and scanned the message for the tenth time before staring, puzzled, at the name neatly written at the bottom. He dismissed the maid with a careless wave of his hand before trekking back up the stairs to his room and his brother still with that name lingering in his mind.

_Haruhi Fujioka._

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><p>Hikaru got ready to throw.<p>

He was sitting cross-legged on his bed, wearing only the bottoms that he wore to sleep in the summer, and was holding a scrunched up paper ball with the concentration of someone in the final of a darts competition. He angled himself towards where he remembered the wastepaper bin being and curled his toes as he focused, before finally arching his arm and flinging the ball with a triumphant, "Yah!"

And-

_Phwap._

-Like so many others, it just hit the wall.

Scowling, he stubbornly grabbed the notebook sprawled beside him and tore out another piece to scrunch into a ball, mildly hoping that the book _was,_ in fact, blank. If it was one of Kaoru's notebooks, he'd kill him, or at least stop talking to him. After mashing it up, Hikaru turned his attention back to the bin, trying to judge how far away it was from the sound of the other twenty balls of abused paper. Trying to throw balls into a bin was strangely addicting, especially when he kept failing. It was like online solitaire.

As he had been alternating between over- and under-arm, Hikaru now curled his arm below and when he released it, he was so into it that he almost bounced off the bed after it.

"Yah!"

And-

_Flump._

"Score!" Hikaru yelled, throwing his arms up in triumph, feeling ridiculously elated at what he deemed to be a waster-paper-bin noise. And the paper thought he couldn't do it! "Screw you, paper!"

"This is how you entertain yourself when I'm gone?" came an amused voice from the doorway and, recognising him instantly, Hikaru stuck his tongue out. Kaoru sniggered. "What's the paper ever done to you?"

"You're just jealous of my amazing throwing skills," Hikaru informed him, before groping around beside him and tearing another page from the notebook. As Kaoru didn't start wailing, he guessed it was a blank one after all. "What did the maid want?" he asked as he began to aim again, sticking to under-arm this time.

"Soup."

"Huh?"

_Phwap._

"Crap!"

Sniggering as Hikaru viciously began to make another paper ball, Kaoru wandered over to his own bed, still passing the thermos from hand to hand, and then rolled it over to his twin as he sat down. It collided with his knee, so he dropped the paper ball into his lap to pick it up, running his fingers curiously along its surface.

"Apparently a boy from our class dropped it off with a note this morning," Kaoru explained, cocking his head as he looked back to the note in his hand and the scribbled name upon it. "It was Haruhi Fujioka though, Hikaru huffed slightly at the mention of the commoner girl"dressed as a boy, for whatever reason. She must have been on her way to school…"

As Hikaru quirked an eyebrow skeptically and experimentally began to twist the lid, Kaoru found his mind drifting back to the spacious elegance of Ouran Academy. It had been almost two months since they had attended… he wondered how far behind he was, though there was no point in going for just the last couple weeks of term. School was something they were both putting off addressing and Hikaru was quite intent on ignoring the fact the issue existed at all. Though that was about as maladaptive as it got, Kaoru was secretly relieved that he was allowed to forget it too. The possibility of them going to different schools was horrifying.

Suddenly, his inner musings were interrupted by Hikaru snapping, "Are you going to tell me what the note says or do I have to guess?"

"Ah, sorry," Kaoru mumbled, blinking back down at the small piece of paper as if he had forgotten he was holding it. As Hikaru rolled his eyes and began sniffing the soup suspiciously, Kaoru read it out loud'To Hikaru and Kaoru. I'm sorry for the surprise and the trouble Tamaki-sempai and I caused yesterday. Please don't feel under any obligation to keep my gender a secret. Hope you're well, Haruhi Fujioka'."

Hikaru frowned. "So the soup's an apology?"

"Guess so." Kaoru stared at the note for another second before glancing up to his brother. "Weird that she feels the need to apologize for Tamaki as well."

"Mm. They're probably going out or something," Hikaru said uncaringly, twisting the lid back onto the thermos and tossing it over to Kaoru's bed. "And his pet name for her is 'his daughter'. That's so incestuous. Why are we friends with such a weird person?"

"Because he brings us cakes?" Kaoru suggested with a smirk, picking up the thermos himself again, as if they were playing a lonely version of 'pass the parcel'.

The older twin shrugged and, though he did find the apology mildly interesting, it clearly wasn't too high on his priorities list as he then picked up a paper ball and began to aim for the bin. Kaoru watched him throw a couple before turning his attention back to the soup. It was a strange choice for an apology gift, really. From the look of it, it seemed to be homemade, which struck Kaoru as odd. Why had she gone to all that bother, just for them? They didn't know her. Even if she just so happened to be making it anyway, so it wasn't any extra work, she had still travelled all the way to their house to give it to them.

He shook his head. People were so strange lately.

"…Hey, Hikaru?"

"Yeah?"

_Phwap._

"Crap!"

"Do you want some?"

"Neh, it's probably poisoned or something."

_Phwap._

"Bloody hell!"

"…If it's not poisoned, do you want some?"

"Sup"

_Flump._

"SCORE!"

"I'll take that as a yes."

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><p>The most noticeable thing about the place was the smell of sweet peppermint, as if the bricks of the walls were cemented together using peppermint cream. Then there was the persistent jazz music, just loud to be heard, just quiet enough to ignore, and just upbeat enough to grate on Hikaru's nerves.<p>

Hikaru scowled pointlessly at it as he waited for the therapist to call him in.

He'd already decided he didn't like it. The back of the seats in the waiting room were too straight, the secretary sounded too nasally and the air-conditioning was turned on too cold. And then there was the weird effect it appeared to be having on Kaoru, who was perched on the seat next to him. He seemed to be getting increasingly nervous and his grip on Hikaru's hand was getting tighter and tighter. Though Hikaru didn't say anything he was feeling plenty nervous himself he suspected that he was about to lose blood flow to his fingers. Perhaps he could use that as an excuse to go home.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Kaoru said suddenly. He spoke in a hushed voice, as if they were in a funeral home. "It's your turn soon."

"Goodie," Hikaru drawled sarcastically, wincing as Kaoru squeezed even tighter.

"I should have looked up what it's about. What do you think you'll have to do?"

"Talk, I guess."

"About what?"

"I have no idea."

They fell back into silence.

Hikaru sighed and rolled his head backwards, defeated. He could just about hear the rumble of cars outside above the jazz music.

There was someone else in the waiting room. He had no idea who they were or why they were there just waiting for another patient perhaps but the sound of their breathing made his skin crawl. Labored and uneven and horribly loud. _Huff _- in _hush_ out _huff_- in- _hush_- out. They suddenly coughed choppily and he jumped, strangely repulsed.

"I don't need to be here," he hissed, awkwardly jabbing his elbow into Kaoru's side. "I'm fine. Aren't I fine? This is bloody stupid."

"It might help," Kaoru repeated, but he suddenly sounded uncertain and he didn't release his brother's hand. "It… The doctor said"

"I'm going home," Hikaru snapped and without another word he jumped up and began to march forwards, tugging Kaoru's hand roughly.

He heard a scuffle, a thump and suddenly Kaoru was at his side, hand clamping down on his shoulder and warm breath tickling his ear. "Wait, Hikaru," he said desperately. "Just give it one try, yeah? We don't have to come again. It's worth a go."

Hikaru was about to retort that no, it bloody well wasn't, when there was a click and Kaoru stiffened beside him as a full-bodied voice called out, "Hitachiin, Hikaru?"

There was a period of silence, the hush seeming to ring about the two like church bells. After almost a whole minute, the voice repeated itself cheerily and Hikaru realised that, for once, Kaoru wasn't going to talk for him. He scowled at the unfairness of life and spoke up robotically.

"Yes."

"If you'll come this way, I'm ready to see you now," it chirped, apparently unfazed by the long delay, and Hikaru finally clocked onto the fact this was actually his new therapist-slash-counselor speaking to him.

After a brief moment of deliberation, Hikaru decided that the voice was male, though it had such a soft feminine frill to it that he also decided that he was most likely gay. He pronounced each word carefully and to textbook precision, with a subtle softness that hinted a native language of different origin. Hikaru wondered what he looked like, as Kaoru still hadn't moved.

Musing bitterly how ironic it was that, after his earlier performance, _he_ was the one prompting to go forward, Hikaru dug his elbow into Kaoru's side again. Kaoru jumped, mumbled something so fast that Hikaru couldn't catch his words and then he hurriedly pulled them in the right direction. He stopped quite suddenly and it wasn't until his therapist Hikaru remembered that he had been told his name, but had promptly forgotten it spoke that Hikaru realised Kaoru had been forced to halt.

"Just Hikaru, if you don't mind," he said in that same chipper tone. "Feel free to wait here."

Hikaru bristled with annoyance as Kaoru spluttered, sounding innocently bewildered, "Wha- I can't go in? Why not? I'm helping"

"I'm sure our receptionist will be able to bring you a coffee," he said kindly, as though coffee was the ultimate treat. "I'm sure you understand these sessions must be completely confidential and therefore I have to ensure our meetings are on a strictly one-to-one basis."

Kaoru made a defeated whining noise but otherwise didn't protest, so Hikaru took it upon himself to snap childishly, "If he can't come in, I'll leave!"

The doctor laughed, not unkindly, and said, "Of course you won't, Hikaru." There was a creak of a heavy door being opened before him and Hikaru's stomach began to churn in a fresh wave of nerves; it felt as if he'd just swallowed a school of fish and now they were thrashing around for dear life in the pit of his gut. "Do come in. This first meeting won't take long, so you'll be reunited soon enough."

There was a long, pregnant pause before, with a last, reassuring squeeze, Hikaru felt his twin's hand untangle from his and move away. Panic flooded him. He instantly felt lost with no indication of where he was or where he was going. _It isn't fair. _Variations of that one thought ran around his mind in a frenzied loop, like a pack of hunt-crazed dogs running and tripping over each other to be at the forefront._ It isn't fair, not fair, not fair_, _not fair at all, why me, why us, why can't this happen to _them_, it's just not fair._

A foreign hand fell on his shoulder and he reluctantly moved forward, with the feeling of one willingly walking into a rabbit hole.

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed Reviews and constructive critisism appreciated :3<em>


	7. Chapter the Seventh

**-7-**

The therapy was split into two halves. One that Hikaru secretly thought of as useful, and another that he publicly denounced as a waste of time. The former was simply to help him get used to living life blind. He would practise interacting with everyday objects by touch alone and would memorise floor plans of his home. The latter however, was about, in his words, 'feelings and junk' and he enjoyed complaining about it as colourfully as possible. During the sessions he would act snappish and sarcastic and sometimes just flat out ignore what he was asked.

It was during one of these fruitless sessions that the doctor decided to randomly jump from the topic he had been unsuccessfully perusing and ask, "Hikaru, do you dream in colour?"

The question threw him off, so much so that he replied on autopilot in the tone of one surprised at their own answer.

"Yes." He began to fidget uncomfortably. Vagueness was much easier on the heart to admit to than such concrete certainties, no matter what the topic, so he felt pressured to add, "I mean, most of the time… sort of…"

"I see."

Was it him or was there a degree of happiness in those two syllables? Confused, Hikaru decided to scowl at him.

For the millionth time, the older twin took the break in the conversation as an opportunity to fume about the pointlessness of it all, the idiocy of the doctor's musings and the fact he didn't even _need_ to be here. What had he 'achieved' from attending these stupid sessions these last few weeks? Nothing, nothing, nothing. He could get along_ fine _without them - there was nothing wrong with him - and was only playing along because Kaoru was so insistent about it helping. If scowling, snapping and ignoring everything said to him could count as 'playing along'.

With a huff, Hikaru rubbed a thumb distractedly across the plush leather of his seat and glared into his surrounding glum nothingness - the richest sight his useless eyes could offer - as Dr. Carron suddenly asked from somewhere in front of him, "Did you dream last night, Hikaru?"

"Oh God," Hikaru growled, snapping up like a temperamental oyster. "You're not going to start analysing my dreams are you? Finding the 'hidden meaning' of random fucking nonsense? I swear, I'll leave."

"If I resorted to pulling meaning out of dreams, so would I," he said seriously. Then he laughed. "No, I'm just interested. Will you describe what you saw to me? It's nearly the end of our session so you can leave early, if you wish," he added as an extra persuasion, a smile evident in his tone.

Hikaru gave a huge heaving sigh - just in case the doctor was in any doubt of his feelings towards this - and then drawled, "I walked for a bit. Then I looked a house. That's it."

"Bit thin on the description there."

"Well, what _else_ do you want me to say? I walked down a road, there were lots of people and then I looked at Casa Batlló. Happy?" He sniffed. "I never said it was the most interesting dream I've ever had."

Dr. Carron hummed thoughtfully for a few moments before musing aloud, "Casa Batlló… I'm sure I've heard of that before. Is it some sort of restaurant?"

"Some sort of…?" If Hikaru could see to focus, he would have stared at him in horror, but as it was he had to settle for letting his jaw drop. He almost felt offended. Scratch that, he was _totally_ offended. "Of _course_ it's not! It's a piece of Spanish modernisme architecture by the great Antoni Gaudi! How can you not know that!"

"You seem very passionate about it," the doctor noted cheerfully. There was another squeak as he settled back in his chair. "You dreamed about it? You like Spanish architecture?"

Hikaru scoffed. "It's just like, my _favourite_," he said. He - and Kaoru for that matter - were true art lovers at heart and now the topic was in discussion a rare childish excitement was brightening his face. His cheeks were flushed pink as he gushed, "Gaudi's work is _to die for_."

"And the Casa Batlló?"

"A building in Barcelona, renovated in the 20th century," he explained happily. "Me and Kaoru have been to see it five times. The balconies are made to look like masks and bones and it's covered in this beautiful mosaic, all coral colours, like reds and blues and greens and golds. There's not a straight line on it anywhere and the roof!" He made a strangled sound of total awe. "It's made to look like a dragon's back with all these scales of coloured glass and spires and it's really… it's really amazing…"

Something had occurred to him.

"And… the inside is amazing too, it… it's very… colourful. I could look at it for hours. I could look at any of his works all day, really."

Then his mouth snapped tightly shut, his lips pressing together until they turned white, and his eyeballs moved pointlessly from side to side. He didn't say anything else for the rest of the session.

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><p>When Hikaru rejoined Kaoru in the waiting room, his brother noted that he was in a strange mood; he was solemn and pensive, and held onto Kaoru's hand very tightly as he led him out. All attempts at a conversation were ignored and any enquires about the counselling session were <em>humph-<em>ed at. It wasn't until they were half way home, both slouched carelessly in fine leather upholstery, hands touching, that Hikaru finally spoke.

"Kaoru," he said, moving his hand away from his twin's so he could prod him in the side. He sniggered as Kaoru whined in complaint before he continued. "Tell me what you see outside."

"Hm?" Kaoru blinked at him a few times, bewildered, then uncertainly looked out of the car window. They were passing what seemed to be a business district, lined with grey and gloomy buildings being used by grey and gloomy people. It was the type of area that seemed permanently afflicted with dark and damp weather, despite the sun's best efforts. "It's just a lot of office blocks, Hikaru," he admitted truthfully. "Nothing, really."

There was a pause before, voice gruff and ears pink with embarrassment, Hikaru asked, "…Describe it to me?"

Flustered, Kaoru looked back outside and scanned for something remotely interesting. At first the description merely extended to people-watching - _'Well, there are about a million people outside in the exact same grey suit… That one's trying to be discreet about picking his nose…'_- but after a while he began to notice things he hadn't seen before. The way the light danced across the windows, the mix-match of colours hiding between the grey, the intensity of the sky. He began to speak with a novelist's tongue, making the world outside vivid and alive for the benefit of his brother, littering his speech with metaphors and similes. The dreariness bloomed.

Kaoru was feeling rather hungry, so a lot of his metaphors seemed to be primarily concerned with food. For example, that mailbox wasn't just red - it was '_scarlet and glossy, like a syrup-glazed cherry, and ooh, Hika, we should have some of those when we get home.._.'

Despite his lips often twitching upwards, Hikaru didn't say a word. Instead he simply sat, his head lolling backwards, and listened to his twin for the rest of the journey.

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><p>A week later, in the third day of the summer holidays, Tamaki was busy having a panic attack about his favourite subject. One Haruhi Fujioka.<p>

"Haruhi in Karuizawa! Can you _believe _it, Antoinette?" he exclaimed, emphasising his words by flinging some summer shorts into his suitcase with a dramatic flick of the wrist. He then ruined the effect by walking over and folding them. "Leaving without even telling her own father! I was so worried! She might have been sold into slave labor to pay the rent or forced to flee by night, leaving home with nothing but the straw slippers she made in her days of poverty…!"

He gasped, overcome with horror, poverty stricken versions of Haruhi dancing around his head. Antoinette, a fluffy Labrador who was sporting her best doggy grin, seemed to sense that Tamaki was upsetting himself and barked sympathetically from the bed. Tamaki nodded and smiled, as though she had spoken words of comfort aloud.

"You're right, of course. As the club's king, it is my duty to turn this shocking betrayal into a wonderful bonding experience! And indeed, it shall be so!" In no time at all his slumped, depressed posture had sprang up into flamboyant, royal pose; his personality was a jack-in-the-box to the highest extreme. "I take a vow as king that we shall bond, no matter what! _Ohh_, I'm so excited Antoinette! A big family holiday!"

Antionette leaped from the bed like an antelope and began dancing around him with the upmost excitement, pounding the air with her tail. She wasn't quite sure what was going on, but it seemed terribly fun. Taking a break from his packing, Tamaki ruffled her fur and glanced over to a much loved photo sitting on the side. In it, his dear host club were frozen, forever smiling up at the camera.

At the back, there was Mori, who towered over them all and looked as calm and content as an old kendo master. Slightly ruining his calm demure was the other senior, Hunny, who was propped up on his shoulders and was waving at the camera like a giddy maniac, with a pink bunny being made to mimic his actions in his other arm. They made an odd pair and though sometimes it was hard to think of Hunny as anything other than a ten year old and Mori anything but his childminder, Tamaki respected them both immensely. They had proved many times over to have a wisdom and awareness that alluded their juniors.

And there, being forced into an enthusiastic hug by their 'father', was the first years, the youngest of their club. First, his dear sweet Haruhi, the club's secret flower, dressed in the boy's uniform and hiding her emense joy about being so close to him under that scowl, he was sure. Hooked under his other arm was Ren, with sharp eyes and even sharper hair, cackling at something that, as usual, had completely passed over Tamaki's head, his latest gadget swinging from his other hand. The daughter and son of the host club family, as Tamaki proudly pronounced them.

And then there was Kyouya, his confederate! His best friend! And occasionally his Buddha! He was standing to the side, giving the camera his usual moderated smile, which Tamaki had recently decided was motherly.

He was still gushing about his beloved club and the idea hit him.

And in that moment, as a slow grin spread over his face and he readied his persuading (whining) muscles, lives were set to change. Because of that idea, more than one existence was going to be shaken to the core and not necessarily for the better.

"Hey-ho, Antoinette!" he cried. "I've had a marvelous idea! We should invite the twins!"

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading everyone! Sorry for the verrryyy slow updates!;; I hope you liked this chapter at least :)<strong>

**Reviews equal cupcakes!**


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